Shavertown woman teaches children valuable life lessons with etiquette

BY CALEB SHEAFFER STAFF WRITER Published: Monday, September 22, 2008 4:09 AM EDT

When Jill Evans Kryston worked in the guidance office at Dallas High School, she noticed children lacked basic manners. Magic words like “please” and “thank you” were rarely used, and kids mumbled, as if unable to speak clearly. Kryston, of Shavertown, figured that if these children weren’t learning basic social skills early, they would miss out later in life. In recent years, many colleges and prep schools have offered courses in dining and business etiquette to help their students snag a job or land an interview, but Kryston wanted to reach children earlier, to reinforce those skills throughout their lives. “We all need to play a part in being civilized. It’s all about treating others well,” Kryston said.

Three years ago, Kryston attended the International School of Protocol in Maryland. After becoming certified as an instructor, she intended to start lessons for area children and teens, but was delayed by cancer and health complications. In July, Kryston started her school of protocol, called “Defining Manners,” designed to teach manners, social skills, and communication skills to children and teens. This summer, Kryston has already held classes in the Wyoming Valley, including “An Etiquette Sampler” at the Back Mountain Memorial Library and “Dining Boot Camp for Kids” at Grico’s Restaurant in Exeter. This week, she is hosting two more events — one on Monday at the Back Mountain Memorial Library and another on Wednesday at Grico’s Restaurant in Kingston. The “Etiquette Sampler” introduces children to table manners, handshakes, introductions and greetings. The “Dining Boot Camp for Kids” teaches children table settings, manners and behavior, followed by a four-course meal when the students have the chance to practice what they’ve learned. Kryston understands that sometimes people feel intimidated to learn manners and social etiquette, but even she discovered new things when attending the School of Protocol. For instance, she never knew that at the dinner table, the salt and pepper are “married” and shouldn’t be separated, or that when diners eat a roll, they are only supposed to butter what they intend on putting in their mouth. “People shouldn’t feel bad for not knowing,” Kryston said. As a mother of three, Kryston doesn’t have unrealistic expectations for children either. She knows people are going to be more relaxed at home, and that often it is difficult for parents to teach their children proper protocol and social skills. Studies have shown that children are more likely to listen to someone other than their parents when it comes to learning about social etiquette.

Many serious things in life are affected by social etiquette, including job promotions, hirings and firings. Plus, most people will attend at least one formal event — whether a wedding or something similar — during the course of their lives. Kryston said the classes aren’t about putting anyone down, but about investing in a child’s future. “The point of the classes is to create confidence, so they can enjoy social interaction,” Kryston said. Because she works with children, Kryston also tries to make her presentation lively, adding stories about how and when handshakes became common practice to little songs about where the silverware should be arranged on the table. “It is exciting to learn it, because it is a lot of fun,” Kryston said. Kryston’s husband, Dr. John “Skip” Kryston is a pathologist at Evangelical Community Hospital in Lewisburg. The couple have three children, Courtney, 27, Brook, 25, and Joshua, 23. Besides her upcoming classes, Kryston will present a “Cutting Edge Interview” workshop at a conference at Penn State Wilkes-Barre and has done presentations for groups in Trucksville and Mountain Top. She plans to hold more workshops and classes throughout the year for children ages 4 to 7, and separate ones for those 8 and over. “I call it an investment because your child is learning life skills,” Kryston said. “It’s an experience that should stay with them.”

csheaffer@citizensvoice.com, 570-821-2083 Copyright © 2008 - The Citizens Voice