Defining Manners - Programs - Communication Skills, Etiquette, Table Manners

"Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of awareness"

-P.M. Forni, author of "Choosing Civility," cofounder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project

Defining Manners believes your manners “define” who and what you are

and they are always open for inspection.

Facts and Information

At Defining Manners etiquette lessons are taught using tried and true behaviors that have stood the test of time along with the very latest in modern social trends applicable to today's lifestyle. Each class is packed with fun, facts and a host of interactive activities which are peppered with curious customs, historical perspective and interesting antidotes. Students interact, roll play, enjoy games, and learn useful jingles and acronyms to help remember important information. Everyone takes home reference materials.

The choices of programs range from four-session courses to single session classes, workshops and seminars; the type of program is dependent upon the desired depth of instruction. Fees are set in accordance to the type and depth of instruction as well as the chosen venue and travel distance.

Classrooms are the venue of choice. Etiquette instruction can be held in schools, churches, libraries, community centers, on college campuses, at business locations, private clubs, or in your home. Programs can be part of a summer camp, youth group, scout troop, P.T.A. or P.T.O., home school or cyber school, service club, country club, golf club, and other community organizations. Wherever the imagination takes you, a class of protocol can be held.

Does your college, school, group or organization work with grants? Then, Defining Manners would like to partner with you to establish an etiquette program to suit your special needs. Does your group or organization need a guest speaker? Defining Manners has the perfect presentation for you. Call us today!

Program Content

Defining Manners develops character building programs around three key topics:

Social Etiquette - Includes disciplines such as welcoming behaviors; proper hand shakes using eye contact; using honorifics and first and last names; turn-taking, including others, showing proper respect, common courtesies and rude behaviors; helping behaviors, behavior in public and etiquette for public outings; using escalators, elevators and doors; street smarts, spectator behavior and good sportsmanship; image and clothing, proper grooming, and hat wearing etiquette; and rules for sitting and standing.

Communication Skills - Teaches proper greetings and introductions; conversation, listening and feedback; nonverbal communication; public speaking and debating; telephone, cell phone and email etiquette; acts of kindness and respect; communication at school and in the workplace; the use of please, thank you and excuse me; thank you notes; and communicating with people with special needs.

Table Manners – Includes instruction about table settings; identifying plates, bowls, and cups; identifying utensils and glassware; napkin etiquette; common and less common utensils; selecting the correct utensils; setting the table; American and Continental styles of dining; eating common and unusual foods; behavior at the table; seating a girl and woman; body language and conversation at the table; entering and exiting the table; proper seating; mealtime manners; when to begin and finish eating, and resting and finished dining positions.

Programs for Children and Teens

La Petit Protocol – ages 4 to 7 - Each program in this category uses age appropriate activity-based workbooks that include the topics listed above in "Program Content." Classes range from one, 1-hour class to four weeks of 1 to 1 1/2 hour classes.

How to Say It Best – Young children learn the first steps for effective communication which creates self-esteem and builds leadership abilities in the future.

Pass the Peas, Please – This class incorporates all the disciplines surrounding table manners and behavior at the table. When children learn these skills at an early age, good table manners have the best chance of becoming part of them. Having the right skills builds confidence and increases self-control in any dining situation. Practicing over danish and juice is optional.

Say Please, Say Thank You - Knowledge and skill in social etiquette helps children handle themselves and deal with others with ease. Studies have shown individuals are better students, resolve conflict more easily and make wiser choices when they possess social confidence.

Le Grand Protocol – ages 7 to 18 - The programs in this category are listed below under "Specialty Programs" and are arranged into age groups, however, not all ages can be grouped into one class. The programs in this section incorporate the topics listed above in "Program Content."

A complete multi-course program consisting of social etiquette, communication skills and table manners is available as a 2-hour a week class over a 4 week period, and ending with a continental breakfast to practice dining skills.

When students participate and complete the multi- course etiquette program in "Le Grand Protocol", as a reward, Defining Manners provides an optional field trip to a bowling alley to practice bowling etiquette.

Specialty Programs

Dining with Finesse (adults)

Dining 101 (college students)

How to Not Gross People Out (teens)

Dining Boot Camp (children) – Manners are most on display at the table. Learn table manners, dining skills and polite table behavior using a sample table setting and dining chart. This exciting and informative class includes such topics as napkin etiquette, American versus Continental styles of dining, eating unusual foods and identification and proper use of china, glassware and utensils. Participants will practice what they've learned over a multi-course meal in a restaurant, dining hall or in your home. This confidence building class is designed for formal dining, but can be adapted to less formal or casual occasions.

Bullying Prevention and Civility Program (middle and high school) - This program helps students recognize and combat bullying and promotes a culture of civility among middle and high school students. It is based on research conducted in the areas of bullying, civility, and self-awareness. The program consists of more than twenty learning activities divided into four modules: Self Awareness, Bullying, Communicating with Empathy and Civility. The program's core concepts are to provide a foundation of self awareness, to build on individual strengths, to incorporate enhanced social skills for the purpose of promoting civility, and to foster a culture of respect and acceptance of others. The program was developed as a partnership between The International School of Protocol and the Road to Success: Student Career Development Program.

The Noble Scout (for ages 5 to 18) - Girls and boys who are members of American Scout organizations are guided through the various disciplines needed for badge requirements. Classes are customized according to the needs of the individual troop. Focus is on building character, authority, confidence, showing kindness, respect and caring for others.

The Ceremony of Afternoon Tea (male and female of all ages) - Learn how to execute the perfect English Tea. This class is taught from an historical perspective dating back to 19th century England when the ceremony first began. It is packed with facts, information and trivia as well as misnomers and misconceptions about the rituals of afternoon tea. Embracing true English style, participants will learn the pleasures of drinking tea, serving traditional sweet and savory dishes, accouterment and tea identification, how to put a proper tea tray together, and host and guest behaviors. Classes can be held in your home or at a public or private location of choice.

The "American Girl" or "Teddy Bear" Tea Party (for girls ages 4 to 12) - Young "ladies" learn social etiquette as they stylishly dress in hats and gloves to have a tea party with their dolls or Teddy bears. "Tea for Ruby," a book about manners by Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is used to teach the importance of using good manners when invited to "Tea with the Queen." Children will learn how to be the perfect host and guest while incorporating dining and social behaviors at the tea table. They will learn how to R.S.V.P. to an invitation and the art of a handwritten thank you. Camomile tea and "Cambric," a blend of mostly milk and sugar with a little black tea, will be served along with savory and sweet tea treats. Classes can be held in your home or at a private or public location of your choice.

Great Events (for children, teens and young adults) – Make lasting impressions at milestone events such as Confirmations, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, ceremonies, proms and other formal occasions. Participants will develop the necessary tools to conduct themselves with style and grace among their contemporaries and superiors at important events. Young ladies and gentlemen alike get noticed when they exude an air of confidence and polish in social situations. Effective social and communication skills and the wearing of proper attire will help them glide through their event. A focus on the art of the handwritten thank you is included. This confidence boosting course can be taught one-on-one or in a group setting.

Shall We Mingle (adults) - Whether networking for business or having pleasure, this interactive and confidence building class is designed to teach the fine art of mingling. Discover how you can hone your skills and develop new ones with activities that will increase self-esteem and help put social anxiety to rest. Participants will learn the use of powerful manners and principles to achieve personal success while mingling, networking, and exchanging business cards. The program concentrates on strategies for verbal and non-verbal communication, use of body language, effective greetings and introductions, entering and exiting conversations, including others and using "small talk."

Awesome Auditions (for ages 8 to young adult) – Actors, dancers, and singers will learn what it takes to present themselves professionally at an audition. Incorporating social etiquette and communication skills will give an individual authority, polish and poise that will provide the extra edge to get them noticed. Participants will learn how to use "body talk" while receiving a tutorial on the dos and don'ts of a formal audition from start to finish. This self-esteem and confidence boosting course can be taught one-on-one or in a group setting. A reference guideline is provided.

The Supporting Role of Attire (adults) - Discover the ingredients to make a positive first impression through your wardrobe choices. Attire is a supporting role for the image you want to create in any situation. This class is designed to decipher the confusing dress codes of the day from baseline casual to executive to boardroom. Learn what "dress-down" really means. In this activity based and confidence building class participants will be given the tools to make a powerful statement using clothes and accessories. The class is designed for the workplace, job seekers and those who want to improve their personal image.

The Etiquette Sampler (for children ages 8 to 12) – This class offers children a sampling of social etiquette, communication skills and table manners. Children will learn to shake hands using greetings and eye contact, make proper introductions and use basic table manners practiced over danish and juice. This class teaches the first steps to developing confidence, self-control and increasing self-esteem in communication and social know-how.

The Cutting Edge Interview (grade 7 through adult) – This workshop is specifically designed to prepare the private school applicant, the college-bound student and the prospective job candidate so they can shine through the interview process. Topics include preparation before the interview, the points of the interview, and effective follow-up. Participants will practice mock interviews, be versed on effective communication, social behaviors and appropriate dress as well as other practical matters. When individuals feel comfortable about protocol and social skills, it allows them to put their best foot forward where it means the most. This confidence boosting course can be taught one-on-one or in a group setting.

Common Courtesies and Rude Behaviors (grades 1 through 12) – In this interactive class, the focus is on respect, care and kindness while thinking of the needs of others. Children and teens will learn how to behave politely while being helpful, and treating others they way they would want to be treated. Often, we don't realize what behaviors can be offensive to others. This character building class identifies rude behaviors such as interrupting, cutting in line, wearing hats indoors, profanity, bullying, boasting, teasing, burping, belching, gossiping and whispering, and how to avoid them by practicing self-control. The program is activity oriented and is well-suited to the school classroom as well as other venues.

First Impressions Count (grades 1 through 12) -Mastering welcoming behaviors is the foundation of communication and social etiquette. Students will learn valuable life skills by practicing a firm hand shake using eye contact, positive body language and effective greetings. The second part of the class concentrates on the tricky business of introductions - determining the higher authority, when to use first and last names, and the proper use of honorifics. This class includes practice through interactive role play.

How to Be Your Best (grades 1 through 5) - Giving compliments, taking turns, sharing toys, receiving gifts properly, including others, school and playground etiquette, and host and guest behaviors all show acts of kindness, care and respect. This interactive class uses role play to help children develop life skills and good character by learning to put their best foot forward with appropriate and polite behavior in every situation. This workshop is well-suited to the school classroom.

The Communication Express (grades 1 through 12) - Telephone etiquette, communication at school, the use of "magic words" and handwritten thank you notes are all part of gracious behaviors that will set children apart from the crowd. This interactive class is designed to help children achieve their best while communicating in a variety of venues. Good character and leadership traits equate to a positive self image. This workshop is well-suited to the school classroom.

Street Smarts (grades 4 through 12) - Knowing when to sit and stand, and knowing how to enter and exit doors can be confusing. This class will provide inside information about how to behave in public places. From using revolving doors, elevators and excalators to theater, performance and spectator events to walking down the street, children and teens will learn respectful public behavior and good sportsmanship in this activity-based workshop which is designed to develop good character and a winning attitude. This workshop is well-suited to the school classroom.

The Communication Connection (grades 5 through 12) -The object of this class is to develop positive communication skills which translate into a confident and effective leader in the future. Participants will discover the art of conversation, listening, feedback and paraphrasing skills as well as the role body language plays in communicating. Topics include: telephone etiquette, respectful behavior, giving and receiving compliments and gifts, the use of thank you notes, and communicating with people with special needs. A positive self image begins with possessing good character traits. This workshop is well-suited to the school classroom.

Mastering I.T. Etiquette (grades 5 through 12) - With the onslaught of Information Technology (I.T.), we often find ourselves in uncharted waters when trying to determine what is and isn't appropriate when using cell phones and computers. This class concentrates on setting helpful guidelines and etiquette for cellular phones, text messaging and Email. For example, children and teens will learn: what is considered "shouting" in Email, how rude it is to interrupt face-to-face conversations, and words and pictures sent through electronic messaging cannot be retrieved. This class is designed to teach self-control.

How to Speak in Public (grades 6 through 12) - Public speaking is a learned skill requiring much practice. In this confidence building class, students will be tutored in audience analysis, the use of the body and voice, the importance of visual aids, mode and speech delivery and a properly attired public image. This workshop works from a public speaking script. Each participant will be required to prepare and deliver a two-minute speech. Possessing good communication skills creates a sense of authority and develops leadership qualities for the future.

The Winning Attitude (grades 7 through 12) - Learn what "casual dress" really means. Proper grooming and wardrobe choices help make a positive first and lasting impression on others. Personal attire is a supporting role for the image you want to create in any situation. In this activity- based and confidence building class, participants will be given the tools to make a powerful statement using clothes, accessories and grooming.

Bullying Versus Showing Kindness and Respect (grades 1 through 8) - This program is designed to address bullying along with cyberbullying and strategies to take whether you are the one being bullied or the one who witnesses bullying. Other focuses include: showing acts of kindness and respect, understanding other's differences, the right and wrong way of communicating, body language, interrupting, and handling conflict.

Adult Business and Professional Options for the Discerning Professional

Professionalism in the Workplace -This workshop focuses on professionalism and creating authority as seen through words, actions and appearance. Participants will learn specific factors that influence all working relationships whether between co-workers or customers. They will learn how to make a positive image and a fabulous first impression through a powerful combination of manners and principles. The program includes proper handshakes, greetings, introductions, telephone etiquette, dealing with bad mouthing, angry customers and callers, business attire and deciphering business casual dress codes. This workshop is both interactive and activity based.

Becoming a Healthcare Professional - This workshop is specific to the healthcare profession and is designed to show how words, actions, and appearance make all the difference in building relationships with patients and other employees. The focus is on people skills such as listening, learning, pulling together and bringing out the best in others which are accomplished through kindness, consideration, respect, and honesty. Participants will learn how to meet and greet others, how to identify common courtesies and avoid rude behaviors, and how to deal with difficult patients and gossip in the workplace.

Other Workshops for Discerning Professionals Include:

Earn Respect and Create a Well-regarded Reputation with Above Average Customer Service

Shine with Interviewing Skills and On the Job Etiquette

Practice Savvy Dining Etiquette Know-how

Create Lasting First Impressions and Maintain a Professional Image

Decipher the Industry Standards of Professional and Casual Dress

Build a Positive Outcome with Conversation, Networking and Mingling Skills

Polish Your Skills with Professionalism, Civility and Business Etiquette

Smooth Employee Relations with Office and Work Cubicle Etiquette

Master Electronic Etiquette Skills

Avoid the Mindfields of International Etiquette

Allow Defining Manners to custom-build a course, seminar or workshop to accommodate your individual needs. International etiquette training is especially important in this age of global economy and Defining Manners can help with those needs as well. On the job training and private consultation is available by appointment.